I am!

At 38, I have done a lot of reflection. It has not ended, there is lots more to learn and many mistakes yet to be made and that's ok because now I can hold space for who I am.

This has been more about the shift that i have felt, that has happened inside. It doesn’t arrive with noise or permission. to be honest it can take a while to actually understand what is happening with you and then it comes. With clarity. With calm. With a deep, steady sense of self that no longer needs to be explained.

What it looked like for me

I am more sure of my mind and my words.

I love myself more, without guilt.

Peace is my first and only choice.

I am clear about what I know, what I don’t, and what I don’t want to know.

I am confident of my scars (mental/emotional and physical)— they are a part of my personality.

I am the whole puzzle. There is no missing piece. And if there is, it’s in my box — not with anyone else.

Now, a man has nothing to do with my state of mind or being. I own my feeling and i take full responsibility for my decision and the repercussions.

I own the criticism and the compliments.

I am comfortable with — and in — the clothes I wear (even at the surface level).

My objective is not to please or impress others or make them like me.

It is to ensure that I love myself every day — my life, my thoughts, and my work.

I am simply secure — with what I have and what I don’t. The comparison is no longer around.

The point...

This isn’t just confidence.This is familiarity with myself. This is accepting me and not fighting my thoughts and actions but actually understanding this being that is me.

It took years of unlearning, breaking, healing, and returning. It is tough, but don't look for support while you go through this journey. Somewhere along the way, I realized this too — having a husband and children does not make me more of a woman than not having them.

Womanhood is not a milestone someone else gives you. It is something you arrive at within yourself.

SO, I am.

PS: I will keep adding to this piece as life goes on :)